Thursday, February 22, 2007

misr mommy

Mom and I DID Egypt about a month and a half ago. She loved everything. She is totally hilarious because she's often a bit menopausal which really added to the atmosphere. As if I need to be around 73 million crazy Egyptians AND a menopausal Mid-westerner.

Favorite part:

When we were in an elevator without closing doors.

When it went up/down, you could see the floors and concrete between the floors. You could reach out and touch whatever you wanted. Between the floors were painted numbers for ... duh ... the floor level. I said something along the lines of, ''Can you hit #4," thinking she'd hit the button when we entered said elevator. But I guessed she didn't hear me and I pushed the button myself. Oh no no no, lo and behold! While ascending, she saw the painted #4 on the concrete, and hit it with both her hands like she was slapping a Chippendale's ass, while yelling "Four!". She immediately realized that this was perhaps the most retarded thing she's ever done. Of course, I never let her live it down.

Us, on camels, in front of the sun.

Mom on a camel. She screamed the entire time. I bought her that bag from REI. She planned on carrying a serious bag with her at all times. So when she saw this she didn't believe me that it was all she needed. She soon realized that not only was it fierce, it was functional.

Prayer time.

What else did we do besides stare at Egyptian ass?

- Encountered men with broken bottles behind their backs at the pyramids

- Didn't buy anything because it's all imported from China

- Felucca's and dancing around fires with the infamous Mahmoud. Mom brought her own plastic cutlery for felucca meals.

- Dinner at Muharram's house in 'the Nubian village' - his house was pimped out AND the food was delish. Mom decided to use his cutlerly.

- Saw a million and one sights, of which I attempted to be the guide for all of them. Only to realize how much I've forgotten in the past two years.

- Road bikes in Luxor to the Valley of the Kings while Mubarak and Condi Rice were in town. Every single road was lined (every 30 feet) with un-armed military personnel. They stood outside for 12 hours without a break. I'm glad we could at least give them some entertainment.

- Hung out at Donkey Khalid's house on the West Bank of Luxor. He hates his life. Was so born in the wrong country.

- Mom got her hand kissed and was proposed to by Christian George. She asked if he had any friends instead.

- Seafood, movies, sights, booze in Alexandria.

All in all, a success. When I get some pictures from Mom, I'll post them.


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